Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Home is.. Where?

My Dad and Stepmum are moving in about two weeks time. They are leaving their tropical sanctuary on an adventure to wherever they end up. I am excited for them, yet I am also deeply sad. They had lived there for about 20 years - half of my life! Their home has been the place I thought of most when I would think about Australia. Ahhh...the tropics...the place where I feel so vibrant! I love the warmth and the humidity and the lush green rainforests. I often visited their place for some R&R and found the peace of their property so soothing. After leaving Australia, I would mentally visit there and remember that peace. The crystal clear waterfall down the road from their place, the beautiful flowers everywhere, even all the bugs and toads and LIFE! So very different from living in the desert.

With the departure of my Dad and Stepmum from that area, I feel a shift inside. Things in Australia are so different now. The one thing I thought I could rely on to stay the same (them at their house in Beauvalley), is no longer. People are different, places are different and I am different. I treasure the memories of the Australia I knew. But I don't feel the strong pull to go back there like I used to. If anything happened to Cary, then I would. I can see us living in another country, surrounded by tropical beauty, but not Australia at this stage.

Even though we've lived in Southern Nevada for over 7 years, it doesn't feel like home and it never has. It's a stepping stone on the road home.

My Mum is coming over! She should be here in 3 hours! I'm a bundle of twisted emotions - excited, nervous, happy, worried. We had some rough times when I was a teenager, but became close as I finally matured. She still manages to touch some nerves though. Her health has not been good this year and I am hoping that this trip will give her some time to relax and just enjoy.

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