Last week I found myself falling into old patterns of 'doing'. Getting into a rhythm with the children with all of their new classes and social time with other homeschoolers, as well as all of the other things that are involved with running a household, started to get me a little twisted. With Cary away and all of the responsibility on me, friends I've spoken with have been supportive and tried to tell me that I was behaving in a way that was quite understandable.
But not for me.
I know there is a calmer way for me, a more peaceful place to operate from. It's a subtle shift within me. One that comes from a place of Trust in God, Acceptance, Gratitude, Love, a feeling of connection with all, Service and ultimately, Joy.
I am better at remembering all of this when I'm getting enough sleep, eating well and taking some time every day to do something for myself.
Yesterday I found myself starting to get a little wound up with catching up on things around here. I was able to see the old pattern emerging and stopped it, saying "this is not Who I Am". I put some camp chairs outside and went and sat in the sun with my feet up and just immersed myself in the moment. Ahh... After about 10 minutes, I went on to finish the housework etc...joyfully. It was amazing how much more I seemed to get done. In the afternoon, the kids and I spent an hour or so at the creek, playing in the sand, came home for a bath, dinner and an evening playing cards after Nicholas was asleep.
Definitely Being is a better place for me! I like me so much better when I'm in that state as it's Who I Really Am, there is no inner conflict. Peace.
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